6 No, It's Not 2016 Yet...

...But, remember my open letter to Playboy Editor-In-Chief Hugh M. Hefner when I offered my services as a writer for the all-new, fully-clothed edition of his mag? I was just stumbling around the place when what to my wandering eyes should appear but a rough draft of what would have been my first column for Playboy had Hef responded to my offer. Before Playboy's new nude-free format debuts, (WITHOUT my column, grumble, grumble.) I thought you'd like a glimpse of what could have been.


THE WORLD ACCORDING TO STEVE


Welcome to MY World


Greetings and salutations, PLAYBOY readers, I am Steven Long Eisenpreis, author, curator, editor, and all-around boss of "Steve's Blog," now playing at steveneisenpreis.BlogSpot.com, and I would like to extend a warm welcome to you, O Lucky Reader, to the all-new, all different PLAYBOY and "The World According To Steve."


Like the Blog, this frankly fantastic feature is an omniumgatherum (or hodgepodge, if you're not one of those who bought or claimed to buy the old PLAYBOY for the articles) of comments, critiques, and snappy patter.


Before I go any further, I would like to thank our Esteemed Editor-In-Chief,Mr. Hugh Marston Hefner, for giving me the once-in-a-lifetime (actually once-every-other-month) opportunity to say whatever I want about whatever I want. Of course, the new PLAYBOY would not be possible without the old PLAYBOY (Duh!) and this maiden effort is dedicated to all those who made the nudie rag that bore the name of this fine publication an American institution.

Like any young man in post-60's America, I had always wanted to visit the Playboy Club and see the Playboy Bunnies up close. Not only did I get my wish in 1976, but I, and the lovely Rosemary Steigman (who has since gone her own way) were photographed by our very own Camera Bunny. How cool is that?

Since then, I have immersed myself in the history of the Playboy Bunny and even collected photos such as the fampis Burt Reynolds cover wherin he attempted to take both (Bunny) ears and the tail from Cover Bunny Gig Gangel, the photo of Sonny Bono at Playboy Mansion West surrounded by sexy Bunny Cher and cute Bunny Chastity (We will not discuss what happpened to her? Him? It?) in matching Bob Mackie creations.One advantage of working as a Bunny had to be that you could never be docked for working out of uniform. Everybody knows Debbie Harry of Blondie worked as a Bunny at the New York Club, but other alums include actress Susan Sullivan, author Kathryn Leigh Scott, CNN meteorologist Valerie Voss, and the voice of both Pebbles Flintstone and Betty Rubble, B.J. Ward, who used to greet Keyholders by reading Shakespeare, to prove that Bunnies were more than just pretty faces.

If truth be told, I wanted to sell articles to the old PLAYBOY and even its less savory competitiors,but what stopped me was all those women who were not exactly dressed. You would have to get through all of them to get to my collumns, and I would be standing in this space, arms akimbo and stern expression on my face clearing my throat. ("AHEM!") I realize a lot of men are going to miss the nudes, but as far as I'm concerned, this can only be good.

Welcome to the World According to Steve. It may not be Disney World, but,hey, it ain't Westworld either.

Any comments? Any critiques? Any questions? Any answers? Any rags, any bones, any bottles today? Don't let the little Groucho Marx allusion prevent you from getting in touch with me in care of this fine publication or PLAYBOY's social media platforms.

This is me again telling you DON'T send your comments to Playboy but DO get in touch with me via the comment box or @SteveCountry1 or @StevesBlog1. See you in the coming year, congratulations to the New York Jets on beating the New England Patriots in overtime, (Good luck in Buffalo next week! Hope you make the playoffs!) and...

Bye Buckaroos!
Steve

5 Breaking News

Relax, Steveophiles! This has nothing to do with what's going on in San Bernadino (BTW, my heart and prayers go out to the survivors and the families of the victims who didn't make it, and I mean it.),the break-in at Simon Cowell's pad. (I doubt it was revenge from some guy he dissed on the air!) or Kanye and Kim's latest bundle of joy, (I COULD tell you what I REALLY think about the Kardashians, but it would be rated NC-17.) This has EVERYTHING to do with what to expect from Welcome To Steve Country when it comes back from holiday vacation.

After some serious deliberation, (and an AWESOME Judy Collins concert that I saw at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC) I've decided to add two special editions to Steve Country, folk (such as Judy, the late great Pete Seeger, Arlo Guthrie and his famous father Woody) and the blues. (Eric Clapton, Bonnie Raitt, and you CAN'T talk about the blues without the immortal BB King!) Country purists may disagree, (and if you do, just tweet me, reply on my comment box and find me on Facebook. It's a free country, or in this case, a free internet!) but I think fans of all three genres may enjoy the change. A New Year's about to rear its tousled head, and we here at Steve's Blog Central intend to be ready with new content you'll want to read and share with your friends. (Hey, you can even share 'em with your enemies!) As for what you'll read when we actually kick off the new blogs, our folk blog will review the Judy concert (from both sides, now, of course!) and our blues blog will feature "Walkin' In Memphis," an account of my visit to the land of the Delta Blues. See which of your favorite shows is on Winter hiatus, then make an appointment to check in with our VERY special country, folk, and blues blogs, coming in 2016 to an internet near you!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled holiday celebration, already in progress.

Happy Holidays!
Steve